One of the biggest stresses of wedding planning has to be the Guest List. We're trying to keep costs down, and that means a low guest count. I'm trying to be ruthless and cut certain people, but every time I think about it, my anxiety kicks in. Just an FYI.... I started writing this post in the middle of going over my guest list to provide my sister with a list for my bridal shower.
I am currently in my fiance's family's group text debating whether to invite his first cousin and his wife. Spoiler alert: they're most likely not going to be invited! Again, I'm trying to be ruthless. I may need lots of coaching, and go through a few panic attacks but I'm determined. Luckily I've had the support of some friends to get me through it. As one says "she's gonna give me a backbone."
We want to keep our guest list around 100 - 120 max. Vin and I are both one of 6, that means our immediate family already makes up 25% of our guest list if we invite 120. He has lots of cousins, I have lots of close family friends.
How am I determining who to cut? I've already decided that I can't invite any of my friends from work, some of whom I would really want there. If I can't invite all of my coworkers (the ones in my immediate department which is about 7), then I'm not going to invite any of them. If we're not really friends and we don't really talk, don't expect an invite. We've both got cousins that don't come around, so we're not going to invite them, but Vin also has lots of cousins that are at every party his mom throws. Deciding who to cut there, is a little more difficult than I would have thought. We talked about it and decided we're only going to invite the ones that we talk to at family parties, and the ones whose names we know. His mom provided a few names of cousins we missed, and Vin didn't know who they were so they're not going to be invited.
There were some people that I had felt obligated to invite, but my friend made me see the light. She told me she had to cut first cousins so there was no reason that I had to invite my moms close friends' kids if I'm not actually friends with them. Just because my sister did, doesn't mean I have to. She made it clear to me "why am I going to invite an acquaintance when I can't invite people I talk to every day?" I want to celebrate my wedding day with the people that I celebrate my every day life with.
Children? This appears to be a hot topic of discussion when it comes to weddings. The only children invited to my wedding will be the kids in the wedding party and our nieces and nephews. Otherwise, please leave your kids at home. This may cause an issue for some, but it's our day and we don't want a lot of children running around. We also don't have the extra money to spend on a bunch of kids - some of which we don't necessarily care for.
Fake Friends, don't expect an invite. I have on "fake friend" in particular that is causing me the most anxiety. Mostly because I've too chicken to have confronted her about not wanting to be her friend. Some context - we used to work together, after we no longer worked together I found out all of the lies she was telling my coworkers behind my back. Not only this, she's repeated these lies to our mutual friends - even repeating them up to last year when it's been a few since we haven't worked together. This is someone that I should have realized much sooner wasn't a good friend to me, but because I'm a push over and afraid of confrontation I let it happen to myself. Now I'm engaged and it's clear she expects to be invited. We still have a connection through friends and her boyfriend's family, but I cannot invite her to my wedding. Not only can I not afford it, but I only want my real friends there. I've been avoiding the situation for years and now I'm dreading having to confront it. It's so bad, I'm really considering not sending save the dates so she doesn't know until the absolute last minute that she isn't invited. This may be the best way to finally cut those ties, or the biggest test to my will power....
I'm sure some people are going to get offended by not being invited (the fake friend mentioned above, especially). If we had the money, we'd invite everyone regardless of whether we actually liked you or not. But we don't, so don't take it personally. We won't be offended if you don't invite us to your wedding in return. Until you are in the process of planning your own wedding, you won't truly know how hard it is.
I am currently in my fiance's family's group text debating whether to invite his first cousin and his wife. Spoiler alert: they're most likely not going to be invited! Again, I'm trying to be ruthless. I may need lots of coaching, and go through a few panic attacks but I'm determined. Luckily I've had the support of some friends to get me through it. As one says "she's gonna give me a backbone."
We want to keep our guest list around 100 - 120 max. Vin and I are both one of 6, that means our immediate family already makes up 25% of our guest list if we invite 120. He has lots of cousins, I have lots of close family friends.
How am I determining who to cut? I've already decided that I can't invite any of my friends from work, some of whom I would really want there. If I can't invite all of my coworkers (the ones in my immediate department which is about 7), then I'm not going to invite any of them. If we're not really friends and we don't really talk, don't expect an invite. We've both got cousins that don't come around, so we're not going to invite them, but Vin also has lots of cousins that are at every party his mom throws. Deciding who to cut there, is a little more difficult than I would have thought. We talked about it and decided we're only going to invite the ones that we talk to at family parties, and the ones whose names we know. His mom provided a few names of cousins we missed, and Vin didn't know who they were so they're not going to be invited.
There were some people that I had felt obligated to invite, but my friend made me see the light. She told me she had to cut first cousins so there was no reason that I had to invite my moms close friends' kids if I'm not actually friends with them. Just because my sister did, doesn't mean I have to. She made it clear to me "why am I going to invite an acquaintance when I can't invite people I talk to every day?" I want to celebrate my wedding day with the people that I celebrate my every day life with.
Children? This appears to be a hot topic of discussion when it comes to weddings. The only children invited to my wedding will be the kids in the wedding party and our nieces and nephews. Otherwise, please leave your kids at home. This may cause an issue for some, but it's our day and we don't want a lot of children running around. We also don't have the extra money to spend on a bunch of kids - some of which we don't necessarily care for.
Fake Friends, don't expect an invite. I have on "fake friend" in particular that is causing me the most anxiety. Mostly because I've too chicken to have confronted her about not wanting to be her friend. Some context - we used to work together, after we no longer worked together I found out all of the lies she was telling my coworkers behind my back. Not only this, she's repeated these lies to our mutual friends - even repeating them up to last year when it's been a few since we haven't worked together. This is someone that I should have realized much sooner wasn't a good friend to me, but because I'm a push over and afraid of confrontation I let it happen to myself. Now I'm engaged and it's clear she expects to be invited. We still have a connection through friends and her boyfriend's family, but I cannot invite her to my wedding. Not only can I not afford it, but I only want my real friends there. I've been avoiding the situation for years and now I'm dreading having to confront it. It's so bad, I'm really considering not sending save the dates so she doesn't know until the absolute last minute that she isn't invited. This may be the best way to finally cut those ties, or the biggest test to my will power....
I'm sure some people are going to get offended by not being invited (the fake friend mentioned above, especially). If we had the money, we'd invite everyone regardless of whether we actually liked you or not. But we don't, so don't take it personally. We won't be offended if you don't invite us to your wedding in return. Until you are in the process of planning your own wedding, you won't truly know how hard it is.
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